Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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