i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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