The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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