this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
