I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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