If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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