You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize