hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
