She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
