I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
