I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
