then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
