you guys were way drunker than both of me
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
