so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
