I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
