what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
