Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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