i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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