Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
