I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
