So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
