he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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