I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
