I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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