I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
