a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
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he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
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You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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