when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
