I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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