Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Shame - the story of my life.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
