oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
