Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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