I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
