Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
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I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
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Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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