Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize