It's Friday. Sex?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
