I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
