I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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