id be glad to
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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