I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
