You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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