I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
