Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
