oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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