that's an acceptable place to lick
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
