I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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