I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
