Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
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She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize