so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
