just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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