I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
