Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
