So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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