i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I still have a little drunk in my system
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
