u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
