just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
