so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
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I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
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So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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