i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
