No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm passing your future prison.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
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I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
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He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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