I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
