i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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