:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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