We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
