dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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