Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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