So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
